There is nothing wrong with you.
When you start believing that you are not inherently bad or defective, that is when resolutions for change actually can have lasting effect. All we ever need to do both in life and in health is to get out of our own way. Eliminate the obstacles. Like a log jam in the river – moving the logs is much easier than trying to push the river uphill.
It’s true that you might be more comfortable in your body if you exercise regularly or eat fewer inflammatory foods, but you are still a valuable human being regardless of what you choose to do about this. If you see your intrinsic value, you would probably choose less punishing behavior, and less time would be wasted spinning in unproductive guilt when things don’t go exactly as you planned.
Letting go of the idea that there is anything “wrong” with who we are opens the door to making good choices. Connecting with our value lets us put aside harsh judgement and shame over the choices we make when they are not ideal.
The self-improvement frenzy of the new year’s resolution tradition is dangerously destructive because it feeds all sorts of unhealthy thought patterns. We all know that most of these “resolutions” don’t stick and it’s because they tend to be rooted in unrealistic expectations and stem from faulty assumptions that we are “broken” in some way.
There is nothing wrong with resolving to remember to do good and be good whatever “good” means to you, but please remember that goodness is a natural inclination. So, really, you’d be resolving to be more of who you naturally are. If anything, we should all take a moment to reflect on what is keeping us from letting our optimal potential and natural happiness surface.
When the attitudes shift from a place of self hatred to self love and acceptance the natural flow of wellness is allowed to resume.
Let’s embrace what is and who we are just as we are. You don’t need improvement this year or any year. You are perfect just the way you are.
Now go do something healthy just for the love of it!
Studies show that remembering things in life to be thankful for, has a positive effect on our health. This year these health benefits will apparently have to be belated for me since I did not make it in time for Thanksgiving this year. Often by then I’ve got my newsletter together to send out to my patients with news of the year to come but also reminding folks how much I value the kindness and trust they bring my way. It looks like it will be more of a New Year newsletter in a few more weeks….
Joking aside about it being “belated”, gratitude is something I feel and reflect on all year long but especially around the winter season when I find myself warm and dry in stormy weather, under a roof I can call my own and one that sustains my life’s mission at the same time. I often feel mind-blowingly lucky considering the haphazard way I’ve found myself on a path to this point. Anyone with business acumen would have vigorously shaken their heads at many points in my journey (and still today most likely). I am truly lucky and thankful for that, all times of the year.
American Thanksgiving was early on, easily my favorite part of living in the US. My first year as a student at the chiropractic college in NY, we were given a whole day off on Wednesday to drive home for the holiday – in my case to friends’ houses. That travel day followed by a four day weekend struck me as the greatest surprise gift ever at the time. What is this holiday magic that gives us FIVE days of time off?? Canadian Thanksgiving usually coincides with Columbus Day weekend in October. It’s generally just a Monday holiday – three day weekend and that’s it. Canadians barely skip a beat that weekend and quickly get busy thinking about Hallowe’en costumes and parties next.
Here, the mania seems so much more urgent between Thanksgiving and the New Year because that time span is quite a bit shorter. I see people suffering from the added strain and expectations. There seems to be more pressured travel and disruption to our routines. There’s also less daylight. None of that bodes well for our health but just maybe, pausing those 4-5 days to “give thanks” in whatever way we do, is how we’re meant to balance the stress of the season’s frenzy.
Just in case that’s not enough, I’m purposefully easing up expectations of myself in all areas this year but especially making sure not to push exercise and instead prioritizing sleep. It’s hard not to feel guilty and torn by the things on our ever growing to-do lists or to fall into emotionally beating ourselves up for “slacking off”. But this is the time you need most of all to include on your list of tasks, things that give you joy and peace. Don’t let that just be some seasonal slogan that loses meaning for the repetition of it.
Be kind and be loving with yourself. In Chinese Medicine traditions it’s not actually until early / mid February that our energy “sap” is ready to flow again with slightly more vigor. For some of us it begins with the Winter Solstice. You’ll start to feel your energy return slowly with the daylight.
Let’s welcome back the light. With the light comes hope.